Accepting the past

Assalamualaikum,

nak citer apa ha?
well...

setiap individu ada kisah silam masing2,
sama ada buruk atau baik,
hakikatnya, masa silam akan tetap sesuatu yang xboleh diubah
benda yang dah berlaku.

begitu juga dengan aku.
i have my own story

Aku tak tahu sejak bila,
inside my mind , aku ada idea of forgetting my past,
just because my past was not really good, jahilliyah tentang agama, not because i said so, but because someone else said that.


alhamdulillahla, memangla xde sampai bunuh orang,
but if you compare your past with people yang berbackgroundkan  yang keluarga yang baik since chilhood, i would be the one yang  sungguh rough patches. Yang hitam legam itu. haha

but recently i learnt something.
that i dont have to forget my past,
i should embrace it.

to be able to mention all my mistakes,
to accept that its okay for me to make each mistakes,
make me appreciate life better.

just yesterday,
i made a confession to a guy.
lelaki yang aku sendiri cuba lupakan,
tak tegur selama ni, just because i think dia adalah dari masa silam aku yang gelap,
akhirnya, aku mengaku apa yang sebenarnya aku rase,
and i feel freeeee now ahhhaa
finally i dont have to run nomore huhuh

Aku tahu,
sepanjang hidup aku,
bila kenal dakwah dan tarbiyah,
orang sekeliling malah diri aku sendiri seolah rush nak menjadi baik,
rush nak berubah jadi singa,
rush nak keluar dari kepompong jahilliyah

tapi satu benda yang pasti,
perubahan perlukan masa
dan masa yang diperlukan berbeza2 untuk setiap individu
dan bagi aku, aku perlukan masa yang sangat panjang untuk mengerti
malah aku masih dalam proses untuk mengerti
dan perjalanan ni akan terhenti bila aku mati

its like achivement unlocked.
i dont want to run no more.
i want to face it.
thanks to a guy that teach me ( a friend)

i am not doing this for anyone,
im doing for myself,
thanks Allah,
for giving so much blessing,
i love you heheh.
itu je la,

Yang masih bernafas,
adila

Menjadi diri sendiri

Assalamualaikum,

Among the main reason aku tulis blog, sebab aku ada opinion aku sendiri. Sama ada orang setuju atau tidak, i dont really care ( i care actually, but well... Hahha) 

I was talking to someone today, and dia cerita dia pindah banyak sekolah and universiti. Dalam hati aku, he must be really really being himself. If situation doesnt fit him, he moves to somewhere. Is it good? Good and bad. Tapi saya hormati keputusan dia. He knows what he is up too. 

I was talking to someone today, and she asked opinion about her spek( cermin mata). Later she said "aku tak kisah orang suke ke tak, janji aku suka". She was firm. I was mesmerized. Wow. Such a confident girl. 

Aku lately having banyak contemplating moments. 

The words that i said

The words that I did not say

What people did 

What i wish i did 

Setan semua ni hahha

I appreaciate failures lately,

Malah sekarang pon , aku kat rumah (seremban) sebab kecuaian aku,

But im cherish it every single minutes

Insyallah, there are always blessing in everything that had happen  

Alhamdulillah.

Sometimes, all we need to do is to listen more. 

Listen to understand, not to reply. 

People dont need advice sometimes, people need companion.

Companion comes when you are able to listen and understand. 

We are not the same. Its individual. Now and always. 

I wish i could tell you this, 

I wish i could tell you i want to get to know you more. I wish erm... 

Well gudnite folk, i need to sleep... Makin merapu aku. Hormone imbalance sangat.. Haha

Assalamulaikum